Abel had a follow-up with his Orthopedic doc at 10:30 on the far, far east side of Evansville Wednesday morning. Who was gonna take him? Jason had just missed work to take me to my follow-up Tuesday. Granny and Papa had an appointment they had to be at. My mom could drive him, but the walk inside would be too much. Amelia was babysitting this summer. Wonder if Aunt Ann would be up for it? WHAT? What about his momma? Maybe that lazy bum could get off her ass and do something for a change. Maybe. Just maybe. I didn't wanna talk too much smack as even Michael Jordan misses a shot now and again, but ummm, could I have a chance pretty please?
So Jason gets up and is off to work. I lost count of how many times he asked me if I was sure I'd be okay. "You sure you don't want Aunt Ann to ride along?" Or, "I bet your mom would ride along." And even, "I really need to be at work today. Can I just call and cancel it?" FAITH, Jason! HAVE A LITTLE FAITH! So he finally leaves and the phone rings. Would it be him saying, he'd decided to come with me? No. It was my mom just checking on me. And I'm sorry I was short with you, Mom, but yes, I WILL BE FINE.
Understand, I have had hoards of worriers doubting my capabilities. Sure, it's 'cause they love me. And their grandchildren. Know what? They're growing on me too. I'd never do anything to harm them. They are more my flesh and blood than anyones and I love them more than life. OK? Now that I'm back from that tangent . . .
So I wake up the kiddos. Those turds are doubters too. "Well, where's dad?" And, "Are you takin' us to Granny and Papa's?" I find them clothes and thankfully they let out Gooch while I get myself ready. Thanks, guys! They were great helpers all day. It was like I was in some alternate reality or something. Except for having to threaten lives to get teeth brushed. That went down just as per usual. Then we were out the door to the truck. No? Wait. I'd forgotten my cell phone. I hoped I wouldn't need it, but I was sure there'd be world wide panic had I not answered it should it ring. So two trips to the truck and we were off. Like I'd needed to make two trips. Conserve, baby! Conserve!
What's this? Asa in the front? I don't think so Bub. Daddy may let you from time to time, but not with Momma all the way to Evansville. "But, Mom!?" Thru gritted teeth, I explained Daddy was a better driver. For the record - I lied. I do not believe this as fact however for the situation at hand it was suitable enough of an excuse as to why he couldn't be up front. He accepted the reasoning he'd be safer in the back. Yay. We all were happy.
I told him he could get in back at Huck's. And with that, the begging commenced. "Can we have something from Huck's?" And, "Can we go in?" And of course, "Plllleeeeaaaaaaaaase!" And no way should I have ventured into a store. This was getting ridiculous. This is soooo not me. Or was it? So in we went, loaded up on breakfast snacks and drinks, and off we were again. This time with Asa safely in the back.
Once settled and happily munching I turn on the radio. Booo hissss! My Lady Gaga cds weren't in there and I'd sooo been looking forward to a 'Bad Romance.' Oh well. And lane switching time proved tricky as I discovered upon approaching a Neon that had seen better days, I couldn't see all that well out of my rear view or side mirrors. My bad. Guess I needed to adjust them bad boys. Whoops! Whatever button I hit caused both side mirrors to close in against the truck. Craaaaap! 60mph down the highway, looking for how to undo what I just did, digging in my purse for my phone, and turning down the radio against pleas not to mess with the music. Wait! That doesn't leave any hands for the steering wheel. Ha!
So the turn off to Aunt Agnes' comes up and I take it. Dad always said go to Uncle Paul should I have any automotive troubles. And as I could not remedy this problem myself, at least not whilst barreling down the road, Uncle Paul's driveway would be my next stop. Nobody home, I try to find a fix myself. Surely I could handle this now that I've shifted to PARK. Still no good. C'mon, Burgess! Finally I break down and call Jason. He jokes with me, but talks me thru proper manipulation of buttons and the mirrors spring back into action. Then I adjust them. Crisis averted. Plus Jason had been relieved to have heard from me.
I figured as much since he answered my call on the very first ring. Silly boy.
I GOT THIS! So on down the highway we go. The boys jammin' to the music and I'm enjoying the freedom. What? My phone starts ringing. I answer. Jason asks, "You busy?" At that very moment I'm in the middle of construction on the LLoyd Expressway where you have to decide if you are going up or down. Pylons here. Cones there. Flashing lights on barrels, oh my. Is that oncoming car in my lane? "No, baby. I ain't busy. Whatcha need?" And it hadn't been much. He'd found a car he thought I might like in Henderson and wanted to tell me about it. Great, fine. Can I go now? Love you. Bye.
So we get there. Thanks in part to the boys' wonderful directions (the ones I never asked for by the way). And then we perused the parking lot for a handicap spot. At an orthopedic office? Yeh, right. We parked smack in the middle of the lot taking the first spot I felt comfortable maneuvering the truck into. What a walk I had ahead of me. Cane in hand, we were off. Had I needed my cane? Nope! We enter and take the elevators up. Then down a few halls for X-rays. And then around this corner to see the doctor. All was well. Can't even tell he'd ever had a break. Way to go Abel! Now I do need directions! How do we get out of here, boys? Then there's a tug at my shirt. "This way, Mom. Let's go down the stairs," Abel suggests. Guess what? I actually considered it for a second, but came to my senses and waited out the elevator. Maybe next time.
"Mom! Mom! I'm hungry," and "Yeh, Mom. I'm starving," ensued before we'd even reached the truck. Guess what? I made it to the truck. Guess what else? Next stop, Steak-n-Shake to celebrate Abel's clean bill of health and my success on the first leg of our adventure. Yay me. And yay, steakburgers! Lunch was delicious and the service was great. Then at the cash register near the exit, Asa decides he's gotta go to the bathroom. This, my friends, I had not been prepared for. We had gone before leaving the doctor's.
Oh man! Can I trust them without trapezing the entire length of the restaurant and forcing them into the women's room? 9 and 6. I give Asa a stern look of warning and set them loose turning to rest on a barstool facing out at the entire restaurant. Just as I was beginning to determine which employee to ask to accompany me into the men's room - out they came. Take your own advice Angela, right? HAVE A LITTLE FAITH!
Where to next? We sure could use some haircuts. So off we went towards Green River Road. There's a little place next to Chuck E. Cheese's that caters to kiddo cuts. Pricey, but as often as my two actually get their hair cut by anyone besides myself (NEVER), I thought, what the heck?! I even had mine trimmed up while the boys played video games. Two mohawks later and they still didn't wanna leave. Once out the door, the begging to go to Chunky's started. What in the world were they thinking? Hello? Remember me? Your Mom? The one who doesn't get around so well . . . yeh, I'd like to forget her too, but still she's too fresh in my memory not to be cautious. So the cheese craved mouse will have to wait for another day.
We got a bridge to cross and cars to look at. I must note here I've always been a tad scared of bridges. Whoopity doo! We was going to Kentucky. The boys questioned if I knew how to get to another state without Daddy. Funny. Yes. I said, "I knew Kentucky before I knew your Daddy." Now that really baffled 'em. Ummmmm. Followed by, "Turn the radio up, Mom!" And what's this? Low gas light? You've gotta be kidding me. No Gaga! And no gas? I hadn't gotten gas in years. This warranted another call to the hubby. This was big stuff, for me at least. Silly, right?!
As we cruise the first car lot I assess the situation. Looks like an easy in, easy out station just up the road. Once I'd gotten the okay to gas up (actually wanting encouragement versus permission), I pull in and get out with my debit card in hand. Please, please, please let me be able to pay at the pump. I don't wanna have to walk all the way in to the station and wait in line. Pleeeaaaase. So I drop my card getting out. Nervous much? I bend to pick it up and take that time to look over the pump a bit. Directions, directions. Wow! How many years since I'd pumped my own gas?
Once I'd felt confident enough with the pump, I turned to the truck. At least the tank had been on that side is about the only positive thing I can report at this point. In trying to open the gas cap, I dropped my card AGAIN! This time in a puddle of gas nearly too far under the truck to reach it. Once recovered, I made the executive decision to insert the card for payment and promptly return it to my purse in the cab of he truck. If I were to drop it a third time I may never get it back. My luck, it may even explode or somethin'.
So I struggle with the cap. I even talk to the truck. "C'mon, Burgess," I beg. Finally, I get it loose. And nozzle in. Set it to fill. CLICK. That wasn't gonna work how I remembered either. No biggie. I could stand there and hold it. And so I did. Thank you Burgess. Thank you God. Do I want a receipt? Do I have to go in to get it? Then, no. Of course not. My work here is done. Nozzle back. Cap back. In truck. Seatbelt on. Boys comment on that taking an unusually long time. And Asa asks, "Did you put the hose back up?" Yes. Yes, son, I did. And we're off.
One more car lot to see a Land Rover and then back over the twin bridges to the Indiana side. And phone rings again. Guess what? Jason can't get into the house to let the poor puppy out to the potty. I locked the house and Jason didn't have keys on the car's key ring. Whoops. Guess our next stop would be home. Hold it boy! I'm comin' Gooch! And he was happy to see us for sure. Good boy! Next we hang out a while. Farmville a bit. And Wii. And then when Jason gets home, I'm outta here.
Huh? Girls' Night Out. Baby sis had invited me out to dinner to celebrate our cousin's belated birthday with some friends. Yay! My sister has some pretty cool friends. Love you, girls! Even though one of you may or may not have called my sister fat. Huh!? I'm just sayin'. I've sent guys runnin' scared down the halls of good 'ol Mt. Vernon Senior High for that very same misconduct. Yeh, I used to be a bad ass. But, what's this? Could I be making a come back?
So, whatcha think? Pretty impressive, heh? Lackluster and ordinary to most, but what about you MSers? I can't help but be pretty darned impressed with myself. Relapse? Don't think so. But if it is. So what? Call it whatever. Call it KitKat. Call it Snickers. I'll take it. AND I'll fight tooth and nail to keep it. What will tomorrow bring? I need a candy bar.