Friday, July 30, 2010

Too Soon To Tell

May 14, 2010 - The day after my birthday I underwent my failed LIBERATION.
July 28, 2010 - The day after my sister's birthday I began taking LDN.
So Jason asks what I'm planning on doing the day after his birthday . . .
August 13, 2010 - The day after my hubby's birthday, wellll, it's too soon to tell.
I hope, using words of my Dad's, that by then, I'm "kickin' ass and takin' names!"

Enuff with the intros already. I got news. GOOD NEWS. First on the LDN front, I think it may be workin'. The first night I took it Jason and I were a bundle of nerves. Each of the 8 times I was up going to the bathroom Jason asked me if I was okay. Bless his soul, poor guy didn't rest worth a darn. Having grown used to my frequent potty trips the only difference this night was Jason's participation. Usually my comings and goings don't warrant anything besides the occasional sleepy grunt of recognition that perhaps I'd been too noisy.

I did have a bizarro dream but nothing scary. I dreamt I was at a huge CCSVI summit. Nothing weird about that as Dr. Sclafani's symposium was happily fresh in my mind. The weird part was I was there along with all the big names and everybody knew everybody except for me. All the Denises and Judys were there. And Jeanine, Yvonne, Carol, Tessa, Diana, Alice, Brenda, Irishbear, Paul, Tina, Kathleen, Marsha, Ken, Sheilah, Lee, Gina, Kevane, Lori, Patricia, Tim, Janet, Dawn, Anna, Chris and all of TEAM HUBBARD.

I don't mean to leave anybody out, 'cause EVERYBODY was there. Even the docs were there in droves. Zamboni, Sclafani, Bonn, and others. Big names. Little names. And even some with no names . . . hopefully representing those yet to join the fight. There sure was a crowd. If you're still reading, then you were there too!

There, of course, being a huge 'ol concrete walled, dirt floored, arena I used to show horses in in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Weirder still I spent the entire dream walking around feeling sorry for myself. Did you catch that? I said WALKING!!! That oddity aside everyone knew everyone but it was like I wasn't there. Like I was some sort of newbie. Then it dawned on me. I walked to the head of a long, long table of us all and screamed for all to hear, "You must not recognize me 'cause I'm not wearing my knee socks!" Then I woke up. I hope I wasn't really screaming.

So bizzare for sure but nothing out of the ordinary for me. Just last week I dreamt I was walking from volleyball practice in the main boys' basketball gym at my high school out to the parking lot. Once there I didn't know which of my many cars to look for. I reasoned it should be my 1987 Cavalier as that's what I drove in high school. But it wasn't there. Had I parked somewhere else? Nah. I always parked in that lot. Maybe my '94 Camaro I'd bought while in college. Nope.

As I continued to WALK the football field sized lot back and forth I searched for all the other cars I at one time or another owned. The Blazer, the Jeep? Nope. My current car then, of course. It had to be my inferno red 300M. Quite the head turner, I can't have overlooked that beauty. And then stereo blaring and top down (I don't even think they make a convertible version yet) comes my Mom and Dad in a brand new yellow Camaro with black stripes.

Hold on to your hats dear readers! Dad hops outta the car jigs over to the passenger side to get in behind Mom, shrugs his shoulders and says, "You lookin' for this?" Ahhhhh, yeh! I guess so. And DAMNIT, I WAKE UP. As much as I am a fan of Camaros and would've loved to drive it -- my Dad passed away in April '05 and I sooooo would've ran, YES RAN (it's my dream damnit), to give him a hug. I miss him still - everyday. And apparently a couple of old cars of mine and high school sports. But I digress. Point is, vivid, bizzaro dreams - nothing new.

Thursday, July 29, 2010. My first day after having taken LDN. Side effects - 0. Improvements - 0. Another fail? Not hardly. Perhaps I was gonna be one of those that it would take awhile to effect. Plus I prolly still had roids floatin' about my system somewhere or another. And I heard they may work against each other or cancel each other out.

Leg still dead to the world. Can't lift my drop foot at all. A better name for drop foot -- dead foot. Even resting with my feet up - can't get foot to straighten or lift back towards me. Anyways, I wasn't givin' up. I just hoped Jason would rest better on LDN night #2, let's call it. And he did. And guess who else did? Me me me me me! You sittin' down?

I pottied at 10:30. Same 'ol, same 'ol. Neurogenic bladder not wanting to empty. Blah, bla, bla. I sit awhile as always and try my best. Then I return to bed to work on my farm in Farmville, knowing that within 10 -20 minutes I'd need to return for my follow-up visit. Hehehe. To empty the ummm, 'residual' I think is what my urologist calls it. No biggie. Simply routine by this point. Time flies. Before I knew it I expanded and rearranged my entire farm, played scrabble and caught up on an entire days worth of posts. It was nearing midnight.

Huh? Jason sleepily asks, "You gonna turn your light out?" Well, yeh! No urges. No accidents. I go once more to try and force the residual. No dice. 11:45. Still in disbelief I switch out my lap top for my DS and begin playing solitaire. Still nothing. Oh well, I'll be up again soon enuff, I thought. WHAT'S THIS??? 5:00. WHAT'S THIS? I get the urge. I wake. I go pee. I pull up dry undies. And return to a dry bed. Wooooooooo hooooooo! This is huge for me. HUGE!

I had a little trouble gettin' back to sleep as I lay there smiling ear to ear. I must say my face is a little sore this morning, but I don't mind. I might have even cried a couple tears of joy. THANK YOU GOD! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! Please, please, please don't let this be a fluke. Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! Amen. I almost woke Jason up so he could celebrate with me, but another miracle occurred before I could. I fell back asleep. Yay, me!

And guess what else? Whilst sitting on the potty, astonished I'd slept uninterrupted for 5 hours, I also discovered I could ever so slightly lift and flex my drop foot. My dead foot. It's coming back to life people. A resurrection, if you will. A bonafide miracle . . . PRAISE THE LORD! Thank Him and praise Him. Amen. No where near 100%, but even the tiniest recovery at this point. Wow! A sign of life.

So it's 11 am this gorgeous Friday morning that the Lord has made. Still cripping along, BUT haven't had to go to the potty 'til now. Can I get another Woooooo hooooooo? C'mon now. Ya know ya wanna! Just sayin' it out loud you're guaranteed to crack a smile. Maybe even brighten your day and feel a bit better. Say it with me now. "Wooooooo hoooooo!" And again. "Woooooo hoooooo!"

And one more for Dr. Sclafani's symposium on treating CCSVI. Ready? "Woooooo hooooo!" Thanks for all you're doing Dr. S! Getting all those involved talking and working towards standardizing diagnostic testing and treatment and follow-up care. YAY! YOU TRULY ROCK!

As for my next attempt at LIBERATION . . . I am anxiously awaiting this super docs return. Superman returned and so shall Sclafani!!! In the meantime I'll continue with prayer and LDN. In that order. And of course, as many Woooooo hooooos as are needed. How's about a big'n for the road? "WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO!"


  1. I am glad you chose LDN. I have been on LDN for almost a year and I feel it gives me great results. It lessens my fatigue a little, my bladder seems better, and I feel better.
    I am going to Germany right away to test and receive Angioplasty if needed. I hope all goes well. I plan to stay for a month and monitor my symptoms afterwards. Keep your fingers crossed that I have blockages and I'll do the same for you.

  2. Thanks Dagmar. It's still seems weird hoping for blockages, but I will. I know they're there! I just hope they're easily found and easily fixed. Best of luck. And enjoy Germany. Guten taq.