Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Liberation FAIL: The Morning After

As promised, here is my account of the morning after my LIBERATION FAIL. Had I been accidentally liberated after all?

At just before 8 that beautiful Saturday morning my oldest son Asa awoke us by entering our room to see what time it was. I spotted him as he delicately maneuvered the corner into the doorway. He had entered nearly tip toeing and squinting desperately to make out the digital numbers that illuminated the table at my head. He was making his best effort not to wake us. And I had been remaining still, in order to let in. But, before he could unwrinkle his brow or offer any gentle morning greetings in came his baby brother, Abel.

Only 2 and a half years separate the two boys but they are as different as night and day. Asa had clearly not wanted to wake us before determining whether or not it was an appropriate time to do so. And had it been an acceptable time I am sure he would have woke me with a "Good morning, Mama." Followed promptly with a report of the time and a request for permission to go downstairs. Had I not been ready to accompany him he would have joined me for a bit or returned to his room to watch TV. I love you, Goose!

And I love you too, Abel! But, Little Robert, on the other hand, had burst in to the room like a bolt of lightning with complete disregard for how it may effect anyone else - big bro included. He had been traveling at such a high rate of speed that he even ran into Asa on the way. One would have thought Asa's hulky 115 lbs. physique would have caused Abel's wirey 44 lbs. frame to lose its forward momentum, perhaps even causing it to change direction, but this reasoning would prove false. As if he'd channeled Speed Racer, Abel's bump into Asa did not slow him but only slightly changed his direction.

It took his dad's gruff protest from the far-side of our king mattress, to halt his charge. With this growl, both Abel and Asa stopped cold in their tracks. Asa looked like a deer caught in headlights as he had been so careful not to wake us just seconds before. He stood still as a mannequin taking time to register the out of control nonsense that had since transpired. And Abel, well, Abel as if he had been playing a game of freeze tag, stopped only a nano second before continuing his pursuit.

Thankfully, the space left between me and Abel was not enough to allow for him to pick up as much force as he'd first entered with. Had he not bumped Asa or been frightened still by his father, the kiss that he planted on my head would have surely been disasterous. Maintaining his initial speed, or heaven forbid achieving any acceleration would have drew blood as I am sure our heads would have clumsily collided resulting in at least one, if not two bloody noses. Depending on his point of contact I could also forsee busted lips and/or blackened eyes. But he wouldn't have wanted to hurt me. It would have all been in the name of love as his only goal as of yet for the day was to kiss his momma, good morning!

And he did just that, awarding me a delightful peck right on the lips followed by a delicate hug around my neck. Before I knew what had happened we had gained a tenant. As I was realizing his feet were no longer touching the floor, but instead pawing at my blanket to secure a warm spot underneath, I felt a draft from behind me as Asa was joining us too. Big bro had entered from the foot of the bed climbing up the inclined mattress as though it were a mountain. Once to the summit, he burrowed in the blanket's slack between his dad and me. I love my life! And it's very moments like this that, LIBERATED or not - make life worth living. Thank you, God for blessing me with this family and with this new day!

BZZZZZZZZZZ! Time's up! Party's over! I wish I could write more about this. More about snuggling. More about cuddling. An "I love you, Mom" here. Or a hug here. Or how about, "You are the best mom ever!" with another one of those precious little kisses? No? Well what about all of us getting served breakfast in bed by cartoon elves. Huh? No such luck, as 'Papa Bear' was quick to go into protective mode scaring his cubs plum off the bed. In his defense he was only wanting to keep them from hurting me, but aside from being itchy and a little sore all over from yesterday's emotional rollercoaster - - I felt fine.

So then 'Mama Bear' took charge and yelled back tellin' him to leave her babies alone. I've got just as mean a growl as him. Admittedly, it was my bite that suffered in comparison. So Jason apologizes and tells me he just didn't want them to hurt me. I'd already knew that, but he was being so sweet and treating me as if I were ever so delicate. Gag me with a spoon, right? I'd be okay. I was just the same that morning as the morning before. Still got MS? Yep! Still got MS.

Let's all head downstairs for Pete's sake. Enough with this special treatment already. I waited allowing my three man to brave the stairs before me. This was nothing new as if I go ahead of them I only cause a traffic jam. Thirteen steps up and thirteen now down. Whew! Maybe I had been a bit more sore than I had realized. The groin area stung a bit however no more so than, say you'd burn from a heat rash. And as I had catheters enter on both sides, my discomfort could have been due to the tiny knicks that were made in my skin or more likely from the aggressive shaving I endured during preparation. Either way, it was no biggie. But Jason had been right as it probably wouldn't be smart to encourage the boys to crowd me.

The pup let out and breakfast had (without the elves of course), the boys commenced wrestlin' on the Wii and harvesting crops in Farmville as Jason and I discussed our plans for the day. Jason was having a friend from out of town come over to play some of his arcade machines. If I wasn't feeling up to it though he was prepared to call it off. No need for that as I thought to myself - I might even get Jason to pick up the house a little if there was someone coming over. Especially a celebrity.

Sidenote: Ever seen the movie "King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters"??? Well, it's a pretty good little film definitely worth renting even though my husband was not in it. He was supposed tohave been at the event where the documentary begins, but was not due to my falling ill. Yeah, MS! Oh well, maybe next time. Maybe they'll ask him and Ryan to be in the sequel titled, "Indiana Jones: The Holy ARCADE Barn Find." If I can find it, I ought to post the video I made on this adventure for y'all to see. It was such a hoot to make! But I digress.

So Jason does start cleaning. And I get on the computer to check the weather and see if the horseshow is still on. I felt like going right then, but as anyone reading with MS knows, I might not feel like it in the three ours 'til show time. Mom even called me to offer me a ride out there. She didn't really feel like going herself but if I felt like it, she said she'd push herself to do it. I agreed to go, but warned that I may not feel like it later. Being my mom, of course, she already knew that and had expected just such a response. She said she wouldn't start getting ready 'til just before time. So it was a plan. A tentative one, sure, but that's about as good as it gets with me.

As to not disrupt Jason and his guest's attempts at world record scores, I was to take the boys with me. I had thought, fine - no longer than we would be there I would just make them sit in the Cruiser. Mom calls to confirm my status and is on her way. She arrives just after our red carpet is rolled back up. Thank goodness, cause I trip on rugs and such. Anyways we pile in the Cruiser and are off. We arrive at the fairgrounds not a moment too late as the first class is already underway. Mom takes a right upon entering the grounds and coasts cautiously thru the practice area even passing Leo, my niece's new pony, being primped and readied. Once past the arenas gates and now on the grass approaching the bleachers, Mom applies the brakes.

Here it comes people! The moment you've all been waiting for . . . the place we ALWAYS park was not available. Huh? More like WTF? Yes, we had arrived later than usual, but no, our usual spot had not been taken by another vehicle. Lucky, there, I guess, though the reason why soon becomes all too clear. From the back seat the boys begin asking, "Granny, is this where we're parking?" and "Did we miss it?" and "How come that horse is in your way?" As mom crosses her hands frustrated like across her chest she answers saying, "Well I guess we'll park right here." Then one of the boys squeezed in a whiny, "Granny. I can't see." Wait one damn minute here!

I ordered mom to nudge towards 'em a bit and let them know she wanted to park there. Let them know you hadn't just been drivin' by in your nice clean rear-wheeled drive vehicle just to test it's rough terrain capabilities. With this she began an overly-cautious in my opinion, inching forward causing one of the two ladies that had been blocking us from parking to succumb to the vehicular threat. Do the math people! Horse vs. PT Cruiser. The Cruiser would not walk away unscathed, but the horse, ladies and gentleman, would not walk away!

I saw this and began fighting with the door handle. Me and this lady were about to have words. I went so far as to ask God to help me in this potentially quite foolish endeavor. Completely unsteady on my feet and weak from lying down most of yesterday, not to even mention the procedure - my mind cleared just enough after my brief prayer that #1 Mom should probably have the car in park before I exit. The ground remaining still for my descent and travels would only be beneficial. What good would I have been to anyone had I fallen from the moving Cruiser? One thing is for sure. That lady would not have moved her horse in order to help me.

#2 Once in park the doors are set to unlock. My wonderful Chrysler product at home has this very same child safety feature. That information aside, however, if I pulled on the lock mechanism itself I would be able to override the feature and unlock the door manually. Either way, I was on my out of that vehicle. Mom threw it into park. I could tell she was nine kinds of aggravated. I only hoped it was more at the situation itself than with me barking orders like some sort of drill seargeant. Maybe, she was angry she didn't feel up to tackling the situation herself. Back in the day I would have pitted my mom against anyone else's mom in the entire world - even most of the dads. I asked myself as my feet met the grass, "WWMD? What would Momma Do?" And as I didn't have the physical means as I once did, I opted for a verbal attack.

Before closing my door, I used it to steady myself and lean in a bit to threaten the boys not to leave the vehicle under any circumstances. Granny concurred, no doubt wishing I would do the same. I began politely as I approached her and her horse. I said, "Excuse me. Could I get you to move your horse over a little ways so we can park here?" Simple. Kind enough request, right? Several other more colorful variations had ran thru my mind as I hobbled the length of the Cruiser's hood not once taking my left hand off it to steady me. And her reply . . .

How's that for a cliff hanger? Next installment to be titled "Throwdown at the Fairgrounds." A prelude: As she swung her horse's ass towards me. She answered plain and simple, "No." I did not know her horse from Adam. Would he prove to be a kicker? I did not know if I would be able to stand free of any support. Would I merely appear drunk and belligerent only to fall on the ground? Join me, won't you, as my legs and my ticker are put to the test. Had my doctor told me to take it easy the next couple of days?

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